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John’s birthday was on Saturday! I bought him a card from myself, and a card from Carson. Then I bought him some Recess. Yes, I am a cheap girlfriend, but what do you expect when I am a stay at home mom with no income? He loved it! Thank goodness it is the thought that counts! I did spend about half an hour browsing the many cards trying to come up with the perfect one, so a lot of thought went in to it! =] Saturday morning we packed up Carson and went out to my grandma’s house to ride quads. (My cousin, Travis, built a flat track with a few jumps out there). We all rode for a few hours, even Carson (but not for a few hours, his trip was a few minutes haha). Then we went to GodFather’s for the lunch buffet, then back out riding. Found a babysitter for Carson so that we could have a little time to be more social and have a BBQ and some beers. Thank you Tanya for watching him! We wound up running into my mom and were able to talk her into watching Carson for the night. We, for the first time in over 3 months, got a full nights sleep. WHOA!!!

Sunday we had a family get together to celebrate John’s birthday, Wayne’s birthday, Denise and Neil’s anniversary, and Glenna and Wayne’s 55th anniversary! I always look forward to the get togethers there. Tons of socialization and loads of food, and we always have a great time. Got a bunch of family photos taken. Very excited about that! We are getting prints made of them so we can frame them and scatter them around the house! Also took Carson disc golfing for his first time last night.. Boy was I tired after the 1+ mile walk through the park, up and down hills, on trails, in trees, etc.

Lastly, I didn’t come up with anything of significance to bring up. Better luck next time!

This isn’t just with cleaning either, it is with everything! My current annoyance is my post pregnancy fat, (big thank you to all those of you showering me with compliments on how great I look). But I’m not happy with how I look. Yes, I do look GREAT for just having a baby three months ago. BUT I do NOT look like I did before I had him. I want to look like I did last summer. I feel I had an amazing body, (sure it could have used some toning up here and there), I had a flat stomach, decently muscled arms, and great calves! I am trying to find a work out regiment that I will put up in my bedroom that I WILL do every day. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

How do you get over your laziness?

Money, I hate money, I hate how everything revolves around money. I especially hate not having it. Whoever said “Money can’t buy happiness” is a moron, a complete and utter moron. I, for one, know that if I had money I would be a much happier person. It doesn’t have to be billions (although that would be wonderful) but a little bit would be nice. Money would catch us up on bills, money would buy my little boy top of the line stuff, money would buy me a dependable vehicle, money would get me back to school, money would solve so many issues! Thus, making me happy.

Dogs. I love my new puppy – except when I don’t. Bailey on the other hand, well I don’t like her most of the time. Seriously how many times do I need to yell at you, toss you into said holes, smack you, spray you with a hose, beat you, tie you up, etc… to get you to stop digging. Thanks so effing much for teaching my new puppy how to dig. Oh, and thank you for this morning when I went outside getting me all dirty.

Vehicles. We don’t have much left to pay on my Honda which is nice. Once that is paid off that’s a lump of money back in our pockets! Now, I love my Jeep, I really really do! But, it would be nice if it were completely fixed so I wouldn’t ever have to worry about it breaking down on me when I have my son with me. If you could please replace my 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee with a 2011 one, I would be oh so appreciative.

House. I love a clean house, who doesn’t? If it could only clean its damn self so that I wouldn’t hear John say “So I take it you didn’t do laundry…” or “Oh the dishes aren’t done…” or “Did you get anything done today?”. Sorry I tend to make a mess, sorry I don’t like being cooped up in the house, sorry I hate cleaning. Now all I need is for the house to clean itself.

Horse. Can I have one? Please? I’m really excited for my cousin to be getting a new horse and having me do the work with him/her! Thank you Earl for letting me work and train your horse. But, I want one of my own. I want one that I can call mine. One that when I put hours and hours and hours into that it doesn’t go to waste (least I know that won’t happen with Magen’s new one!!). Maybe I couldn’t be a trainer. I get too attached. Now.. The horse that I am expecting to be given to me is Big Chex To Cash (in my dreams, right?!).

It’s so crazy for me to sit back and compare last summer to this. The abundance of changes is immaculate, and the changes aren’t subtle at all. I went from 24/7 bikini top, short shorts, and flip flops to sometimes tank tops, short shorts, and always flip flops. From going to the lake every day to maybe being able to go a couple times a month. From always hanging out with friends to maybe seeing them every once in a while. From partying all the time to maybe getting to have a couple drinks every other weekend. From having a schedule that revolved around my social life to one that revolves around my son. From fast food all the time to trying to scrape something together for a home-cooked dinner. From dirty wrappers to dirty diapers. From having a purse full of make-up and the like to a diaper bag.

Ugh. On a lighter note (which isn’t light at all) the yard. Oh my God. I am about to bury Bailey in one of her holes for a while. I just went out into the yard and attempted to “fix” the damn thing. I filled in about four or five HUGE holes, raked all the torn out raspberry vines, returned all the rocks into the ground, and picked up a couple piles of poop. If that dumb dog digs some more I AM going to bury her. I wish I had some way to fix that stupid habit. She has puppy digging, too. Now I have two dogs to yell at. UGH!!!! I want manicured yards damnit!!!!

With Carson starting to get more active and a teeny bit older it has made it much easier for me to get out of the house with him. I’ve gotten in tune with his schedule, I’m able to decipher his cries, I know what to expect before it happens. Learning all of that has made getting out of the house with him golden. Also all the places I go are very kid friendly places with lots of new faces and lots of family and friends to interact with him. Sure we have our off days, but there are also amazing days! Getting out of the house has definitely kept me sane.

Luckily I am also able to get my alone time. I have lots of helpful family members and friends that are more than willing to watch him for a few hours for me. My big alone time hobby is going riding. Yep, I’m back in the saddle! It feels great! No, I don’t have my own horse yet. I’m riding a bay quarter horse gelding named Shyanne for Earl. I’m tuning him up and making him kid friendly, or rather I am training him for his niece Emily whom he has given the horse.. Even though I was under the impression I would be using him and showing him, which will be hard when that is what she is going to be doing. Ah well. When John is home and we have a sitter for Carson we go disc golfing. Thanks dad for getting him so obsessed with that silly “sport”! I will admit it is fun though, even if I can’t throw the disc very far. John’s mom takes him on weekends on occasion so John and I are able to get lots of alone time. Lately we have been going out camping. It’s been a blast!

Now I’m sure you are wondering about the new puppy ordeal. On the 3rd I randomly told John I wanted a puppy. He gave me a funny look and I continued to look to see if there were any puppies on craigslist. Found some, called the lady with them, and went and picked one up. Very spur of the moment, and not at all very well thought out. He’s 1/4 blue heeler and 3/4 lab, black with a white stripe on his chest. Still no name.

Our 4th of July was good. Spent it at my cousin Josh’s, same with every other year. Had a blast!

1. Lists, I love lists. If it can be made into a list, I make it. Rarely do I ever complete the lists though..
2. When showering I love to have the water so hot that it is almost unbearable, and I continue to keep turning it up until it is all the way hot. Unfortunately I come out looking like a lobster.
3. Often I imagine myself living someone else life, such as I used to imagine what it would be like to be the main character in the show “Wildfire,” or what it would be like to be one of the desperate housewives.
4. Hunger, I’m always hungry but usually don’t eat because I am too lazy to go through the ordeal of actually cooking something.
5. I am ridiculously ambitious, I just have trouble getting off my ass to do it. Which goes along with the fact that I make a million and one goals – just takes me ages to accomplish them due to such laziness.
6. The only thing I feel like I am good at is working/riding horses.
7. Bailey and I have a love hate relationship, some days she is awesome, some I want to pretend she ran away when in all reality I will have taken her out to the woods and dropped her off. (Sadly I’m pretty sure she would find her way home, and I’d tell John what I did).
8. I am the worlds biggest procrastinator.
9. Once I was in choir, I even played the flute in band, oh and I was in ROTC for 2 1/2 years. I wouldn’t admit this, ever.
10. Like all other lists I won’t complete this one either. *Sigh*

Saturday – Forest Festival parade! Every year I am usually in it with my mom’s 4-H club. This is the first year I got to sit on the sidelines and watch. I loved it! Saw a bunch of people that I knew, many of them in the parade, others just walking about. Also this is Carson’s first parade (which he slept through)! We all had a great time. Saw some very pretty floats, really nice classic cars, got free pizza, and some cool tractors. When the parade ended we walked over to Lupe field to watch the logger’s ordeal. They had a bunch of races, who cut cut a tree down the fasts, who could scale a tree the fasted, log balancing, etc. Unfortunately we missed just about all of it because Carson had enough and was ready to go home. Plus there were a bunch of Mexicans (who couldn’t speak a word of English) that just pissed us off.

Saturday night – Spur of the moment camping way out in the woods up in the mountains! Poorly planned.. But we all had a blast. We couldn’t find a sitter for Carson so we brought him with us. He did absolutely amazing! Slept all night and didn’t fuss at all. I am so glad he did so good. Those who went: Magen, Josh, Wayne, Nicole, Symphony, Cassi, and Aaron. Took a little 4wd to get where we wanted and my mom’s truck got a little dirty.

Sunday – Car show! It was so much smaller than usual this year, and my favorite car wasn’t there – Viper! Carson did great through the walk and slept the whole time. Didn’t fuss until we got home. John and Matt thought it would be funny to watch me try to climb into Matt’s truck, which I didn’t think it was funny. That truck is huge and I had one hell of a time getting in! We got a load of pictures from the weekend and hope that many more exciting events come!

I think Governor Jan Brewer is so correct in signing the bill on illegal immigration aiming to find, prosecute, and deport illegal immigrants. I’m positive that it will create/has created racial profiling, which is not the best, but if it gets the immigrants back to wherever they came from then I am all for it. In fact, I find it amusing how on the news when they were showing protesters, just about all of them were of Spanish origin. I know that the process to become a legal immigrant is time consuming, costly, and difficult, but if you want it that bad then you will go through the process. I will admit that the test is hard (if you still have to take it), and that most American’s fail it. But if getting into the United States is that big of a deal then the difficulty of the test shouldn’t matter.

My main reason that I support Arizona’s new law, and think the other 49 states should adopt the same law, is because of how many illegal immigrants are getting health, food, and cash benefits. I don’t understand why we have to support them, when we can barely support ourselves. I know it sounds terrible to say that, but it is true! I know people that truly NEED benefits and are denied, yet every single Hispanic person in this town gets them. That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m sorry if anyone took offense to this post – it is just a rant.

If I can figure things out and maybe get them in working order I will or will not have to start looking for a job. Getting a job right now is going to be tough. Economy sucks! Then comes my main concern: Carson. I do NOT want to have to send him to a daycare. I do NOT want someone else raising my son. I do NOT want to miss out on his milestones. I’m his mom, I need to be there for him, I need to be the one who raises him. I don’t want to leave him to a bunch of strangers that might not give him the 24/7 attention that he needs. What if they get busy and can’t attend to him when he is hungry or needs changed. I don’t want him constantly bringing home colds and not feeling well. I know my cousin has offered to watch him, which I would take her up on any day over daycare. But I still.. I want to be the one who is there for him, loving him, feeding him, changing him, watching him hit his milestones, etc. Ugh. This is going to be hard. I mean I could always try to find an evening job – but then I won’t be able to see John. I absolutely MUST have my alone time with John. There is no if’s and’s or but’s about it! He keeps me sane. Our relationship will not take a toll because of anything. That is that.

My last ordeal is Bailey. We have a lady coming down from Seattle this evening to meet her, and possibly take her home. Believe it or not, I will miss her. She is a good dog just has some irritating habits! I wish we would have been able to stop her digging. Maybe it will be for the best. The lady lives alone and needs a companion (I’m guessing she is about my mom’s age) and a running buddy. That would be perfect for Bailey!

Enough ranting and raving. On to what has happened since I last “blogged” (journal’d really). Three-day weekend for John! We went out disc golfing and had a great time. Only went one round because I was tired and ready to go pick up my son from his auntie Teri and uncle Jay’s. We were supposed to ride quads this weekend but just weren’t able to get all of our ducks in order, and had a bunch of other things spring up on all of us. Sunday we had a family get together at John’s grandparents for Andy, Jason, and Denise’s birthdays – also Anna Lisa and Jason’s first anniversary!

Monday was a great relaxing day for John and I. We went to a BBQ, with Cassi in tow, and ate some good pig! Ha ha. Cassi gave me a bunch of clothes and a couple pair of shoes, which I am oh so grateful for! Then we came home and watched Daybreakers and Dear John while cuddling on the couch. We switched the direction of the swing and Carson was in awe! Full of smiles and coos. He is so perfect!